There's a beautiful expression i keep stumbling across:
'It's not about waiting for the storm to pass, but dancing in the rain'
To be completely honest, i think trying to stick to it is the hardest thing i've ever tried to do. Including singing an 80s rock anthem in front of 2000 chilean school kids having completely misunderstood what was agreeing to!
It's all too easy to wish days away, long for my old life and count down to the landmarks: end of august= end of chemo, christmas= end of this whole thing hopefully. And there are definitely days when i just let myself get soaked.
But the truth is, there's so much i never would have gained if it wasn't for this situation (including the surprise Wii dad ordered for us that arrived this morning-amazing!) Learnt i have THE most incredible family and friends. Sounds cliched, just don't have the words to express how overwhelmed with support i've been. Other pros include being able to eat what i like and yet get into a size 10! The con to this one is the INSANE toilet time, and that can't seem to get weight to stablilise atm- big side effect of chemo is diarrhoea and i already had it following surgery. Still- new clothes :D And shoes, even tho my feet haven't shrunk....they seemed necessary.
Popped back to warwick for a couple of days over the weekend. It was awesome! Sooo good to see everyone at Stu and Demelza's BBQ, and just hang out and be normal :D Also got the most beautiful giant card signed at the medschool- i just keep reading and reading it. Can't wait to go back up for the ball on Fri. Was supposed to be having chemo that day, but with one wave of his magic wand dr cool declared 'you shall go to the ball!' and moved it do the monday. I do love him quite a bit....
'Big chemo' tomorrow-it alternates, one week just the monoclonal antibody, one week everything including 3 days of condom fun. Joy. Am tempted to name it and treat it like a pet, just to spice things up a bit... xxx